The Courage We Need: Creating A Culture of Brave

I’ve come to believe that courage is one of the most important attributes we can cultivate as educators—it’s so directly connected to trustworthiness, isn’t it?

Let’s look at a culture where trust is nurtured and courage can flourish:  

The Culture of Brave. Authors Tracey Benson and Sarah Fiarman coined that phrase, and offered the following thoughts:  

Seek to develop a culture of brave, rather than a culture of nice.  

In a culture of brave, people are willing to be honest with each other, to talk about hard topics, and to confront challenges together even when they’re uncomfortable. 

In a brave community, truth is valued over comfort and trust is built through engaging in difficult conversations, not avoiding them.

(Unconscious Bias In Schools, pp. 73-74) 

I can hear some of you saying: “Wait a minute!!! We want people to be nice in our schools!”

Consider this: If being nice means that you treat a marginalized person with dignity, that’s great. If being nice means that you greet someone with “Your daughter did such a great job in the game last night!” — that kind of nice contributes to a warm and collegial feeling in your school. Good for you!  

But friends, sometimes being nice can mean engaging in what Patrick Lencioni calls “artificial harmony”. We’re all really nice to each other on the surface, but everyone’s hiding who they really are

and what they really think. 

These kinds of so-called “nice” groups back away from any conflict and are completely unable to hold honest conversations about issues. The real conversations take place in the parking lot or lounge, and that’s not a good thing, is it?

There’s a significant lack of trust in those artificial harmony groups. It works like this:

If hiding who I really am means no one really knows me, then I don’t really know others either. How can trust possibly be present?

Some more things to think about…

If that’s the voice you hear sometimes in your head,  you may be stifling who you really are and what you truly believe. That’s a problem. That kind of “nice” is a barrier to your own authenticity and to living your own guiding principles.  

You’ll feel a tension between who you are and who you want to be; the ongoing, sustained stress of that literally may make you ill. It’s depleting and not healthy for our spirits or our emotional wellbeing.

Being brave means going beyond recognizing the problem, but formulating tough questions: How do we begin to cultivate a culture where people lean into difficult conversations? How do we focus on issues, rather than personalities? How do we encourage holding brave conversations instead of avoiding them?

Stop for a moment and consider your own actions in your school….Can you remember engaging in these behaviors, or encouraging them in others? Can you plan for them as you move through your coming days?

As caring people who want all educators to flourish, let’s begin to replace fear with a commitment to seek The Culture of Brave! Let’s model and ask for unvarnished honesty, and let’s meet the challenges of the day with calm strength. That’s the courage we need!