Self-Wellness: A Key to Helping Yourself & Others

Listening to a podcast or immersing yourself in educational content, you can't escape the constant reminders of the importance of self-care and wellness. The message is clear: slow down, prioritize your own needs. What many fail to recognize however, the majority of those working in the public education field are women, and we are wired to care for others. It's ingrained in us; it's how we move through the world.

In my own journey towards wellness and self-care, I've come to realize that taking care of myself is not selfish. It's not a luxury - it's a necessity. When I make the conscious effort to meet my own needs, I am better equipped to care for those around me - both personally and professionally. It's not that I don't understand my own worth; it's just that my brain struggles to prioritize wellness for wellness’s sake alone. If you are struggling as I did to take steps towards caring for your own wellbeing, I encourage you to recognize or identify the impact that caring for yourself may have on your ability to care for others.

1.Boundaries- Setting boundaries was a concept I was struggling to implement when there were so many things to do and so little time. Then I came across an article where the author said that by protecting your time, resources, and energy and allowing yourself space to love yourself, you are better able to generously give time, resources and energy to others, without resentment. Boundaries allow you to be more intentional in the decisions you make about when and where to share. By becoming more intentional, we are able to have more valuable and meaningful exchanges and interactions. One concrete step I have taken is to organize my “to-do” list into 3 sections: Things for Myself, Things for My Family, and Things for Others (work, volunteering, neighbors, etc.). It is a visual that allows me to see where I am spending my time, resources, and energy and if the “Things for Myself” list is not being addressed, I intentionally prioritize those items. A very successful and wise colleague of mine used to block out time on his calendar to “do one thing for myself today”. Sometimes it was taking 20 minutes to watch a documentary he had wanted to start, other times it was making a phone call to a person with whom he wanted to connect. How you spend the time for yourself is entirely up to you, the important thing is that you prioritize that time and it brings you value and joy.

2. Delegating- In order to maintain boundaries and actually get to your “Things for Myself” list, you will have to delegate tasks to others. In a podcast conversation with Brené Brown, President Barack Obama stated that if you are the leader of a group, it's usually because you are the most qualified and highly skilled, able to perform most of the job within that space. However, not everyone you serve can do YOUR JOB. Therefore, it is essential that if others around you are capable of doing a job/task, you empower them to do it. This can look like having your kids put away their own laundry, having your partner share the meal planning during the week, having your students collect and organize their own materials, or using an assistant to do clerical/data entry tasks. Take the time to review your tasks and identify the ones only you can do and the ones that others are capable of doing and start building their capacity!

3. Disconnect-  When I say disconnect, I do not necessarily mean from electronics, screens, or social media, although that may be what you need. I am talking about disconnecting and removing your body and mind from the source that is draining you of joy and energy. Your wellness and overall level of being rely on your ability to give yourself time to use your brain and body differently, to gain a different or better perspective. This does not need to be an excessive amount of time. Find the starting point or pattern that works best for you and go for it. Is it 5 minutes listening to the birds in the morning vs. opening your email first thing? Is it 3 days a week dancing, walking, or stretching before or after work? Is it picking 2 days a week to listen to a podcast that intrigues you versus taking work calls on the way home? Some people are into true crime series, I personally like Smartless. I find it makes my brain think and view the world and human interactions in a different way. When you give yourself space from the daily routine and grind, clarity often follows. This clarity benefits you and those around you.

4.Rest -Sleep is not a luxury; it's a necessity. Women, in particular, require more sleep to function at their best. New research shows that biologically women need at least an hour more sleep a night then men, and when they have their cycles, it is 2 hours more. Sleep is rejuvenating for our bodies, minds, and essential for stabilizing moods (think of a toddler that needs a nap).There is also research that shows even a 20 minute power nap can significantly lift energy and mood levels. Getting 10 hours of sleep a night may not be realistic, but where can you make the time to rest? Can you do it a few nights a week to start? Can you work in 20 minutes of rest between activities if you are on the go? When we are rested we have patience, can think clearly, and can more readily identify solutions to the challenges we are facing. Rest is essential to our own well being but also for the relationships we have with our families and colleagues. 

Wellness and self care won’t solve all the challenges of the public education profession. However, it is the realm in which, as individuals, we have control. Remember that you deserve to be well, and by prioritizing your own well-being, you will be better equipped to care for others.